It’s August, and that means, baby month! I cannot belive it’s here and how quickly it came. As we get closer to baby day, and, who knows when that will be, I had a couple of thoughts about the end of this pregnancy, and welcoming baby girl into the world.
When I was pregnant with Denver, it was a complete breeze. I had no sickness, no pain, nothing unexpected – like my body was built for making babies. Labor and delivery was no different, we scheduled an induction the day before she was due, and a few hours later (with lots of drugs #givemetheepidural) she was earth side with no complications. We had a hospital full of our family and because it was so easy with her, everything went as planned.
p.s. I know most mothers hate me for the past couple sentences, and yes, I know how lucky I am.
When I got pregnant with baby girl, everyone said this pregnancy would be different. You’ll gain more weight, you’ll show earlier, every child is different, blah, blah, blah. I learned not to listen to anyone and to listen to my body instead – especially since EVERYONE told me Denver was going to be a boy, ha! Thus far, this pregnancy has been spot on with Denver’s, down to the cravings, plus sour candy (I was addicted there for a while). But now, things are changing…
As of my Friday appointment I was 3 cm dilated and 60% effaced, and as the Doc said, be prepared for middle of next week (which is tomorrow, OMG). This had me freaked out! No family is here yet, we don’t have toddler child care, I’m just not mentally prepared. All of that aside, all I can think about is not knowing my last day with my first born baby girl. Is it today? Will that be the last time it’s just her and I eating breakfast? I find it so hard to mentally, and physically consume my self with her. Along with the fact that I’m convinced I’m ruining my toddlers life, I feel like I’m spending my days keeping busy, prepping for the baby, and trying to stay relaxed (which some of you know is near impossible with a toddler). I know all she wants to do is play, but it’s hard for me to do at this point.
When Denver was born I started an email account, I write to her ever so often and when she’s 18 she’ll get the password, I wrote this to her the other day…
July 30, 2017
It’s almost time for baby sister, like really almost time (I’m trying to keep her in my belly as long as possible). It’s crazy not knowing when she’s going to arrive, because that means I cannot plan on my last days with you. The days when it’s just you and me, I take them for granted now, and I know it’s only gonna be MORE fun with a baby sister, but I will miss our time. You have become my little best friend, you are perfect, you made me a mom and I will always cherish the 20 months of just you and me. But when will it be the last time I put just you to bed? I think our days out and about together are over and today might be the last day we go to the beach as a family of three. I am so excited for the next chapter of our lives and I know baby girl will be the missing piece of our family. Just know you will always be my first little girl- I love you so much and cannot wait for you to become a big sister!
I know she’s young enough to not know the difference between the days, and she’ll never remember life before baby sister, but my biggest fear is not remembering either. I love her so much and the mom guilt is kicking in strong. I can’t wait to watch Denver become a big sister, she will love every minute of it. Life with two girls will soon become my normal, but for now I will soak up D in every way I can, with lots of snuggles and sweet kisses (hopefully, she’s almost two 😂).
Apologies for the pregnancy emotions & rambling, it’s totally normal right?
P.s. My hubby built me the AMAZING headboards in the photos & I’m obsessed. They are two pallets and he even locked them together with a heart padlock he brought me back from a business trip he took to Verona, Italy. They are so amazing and make our bedroom so special and cozy!